Bear with us on this one. We aren’t proud of it, but by golly, people need a dang fish pun, joke, and quote blog every once in a while.
Before we get going with our charade that is today’s post, allow us a word or two about our local seafood restaurants. Our Mulligan’s Seafood restaurant locations at Lake Worth, Vero Beach, and Jensen Beach provide world-class seafood (and landfood). On top of that, we offer an amazing dining experience. Whether you are looking for a waterfront restaurant with a beautiful view or want to sit streetside, you’re going to love the atmosphere we’ve worked hard to create here at Mulligan’s Beach House Bar & Grill.
Now that we’ve established that fundamental fact, let’s have some fun and dive right in!
Terrible, Terrible Fish Puns
Whale, to be honest, there’s a decent chance I’m going to miss that meeting, can we reschedule?
Yes I will dolphinitely have those reports with you by the end of the day. (Okay, this one is pretty good. We recommend trying to drop “dolphinitely” at your next business meeting. Go ahead, have a little fun. See if you can raise any eyebrows.)
I’m herring a lot of problems here but not a lot of solutions.
When we take this to court, he’s definitely going to be found gillty.
This isn’t rocket science. You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to understand it. (These ones are just okay, we readily admit.)
You need to put your heart and sole into this business or you know where the door is
Any fin is possible if you don’t trout yourself! (Astounding.)
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. (If you don’t like this pun, you aren’t welcome at any of our establishments. Just kidding, we just said that for the halibut. Are we krilling you yet? Just squidding. But all jokes aside, if you all can think of better fish puns, let minnow!
Alright, thank you for your patience. Every seafood restaurant that has a blog is legally obligated to post a minimum of one pun-themed blog every year. If you’ve got a problem with that, take it up with your city councilperson is the best advice we can offer.
On to better things. Let’s have some fun. Let’s keep it clean. Here are some fish jokes the kiddos will love!
Q: Where do women fish keep their money?
A: In their octopurse.
Q: What do you call a crayfish with a messy room?
A: A slobster
That joke pretty much wrote itself. Not that we did…
Q: How did the guppies get to the hospital?
A: In a clambulance.
Here’s a joke we take issue with. Why did the writer select guppy as their fish of choice? Why not some other shellfish, like a mussel or even an oyster? That being said, it’s a great concept.
Q: Why are fish so well educated?
A: They swim in schools!
We don’t care who you are, if you don’t enjoy this joke, you might need to see a doctor. Once you get cleared, come to Mulligan’s seafood restaurant for some crab legs, and then read this joke again. You’ll be good.
Q: How do fish know their weight?
A: They have scales.
Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Most people know this joke by now, and we think that’s fantastic.
Q: What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A: Pick a cod, any cod!
Good joke, for sure. Maybe it should be the magician from Boston to help explain the accent. Just our two cents…
Q: How do you keep a fish from smelling?
A: plug its nose.
Jokes For An Older Crowd
A guy is walking along the pier one day when he comes across an old man with his shoes off, trousers rolled up, legs dangling in the sea and fishing with an imaginary rod.
The guy’s confused, so he asks, “What are you doing?”
The old man replies, “Fishing for idiots.”
“Sounds good,” says the guy. “Can I join you?”
The old man says, “Of course you can. Sit down here next to me, son.”
So the guy sits down and casts an imaginary rod out.
We aren’t sure if there is more to this joke than meets the eye. Probably not, but still, we can’t help but think about why the idiot got his own imaginary rod out. We get the joke, don’t get us wrong, but that action is curious, perhaps even unsettling.
I sat and watched this guy fishing for four hours this morning.
Eventually he said to me, “Why don’t you give it a go?”
I said, “No thanks. I don’t have the patience.”
So the drunk fisherman walks several yards away and drills another hole.
As he peers into it he again hears a voice say, “There’s no fish down there.”
So he walks about 20 yards away and drills another hole.
Once again the voice says, “There’s no fish down there.”
The fisherman looks up to the sky and asks, “God, is that you?”
“No, you idiot,” says the voice. “It’s the rink manager.”
This joke might fly at a bar, especially if it were a hockey bar. Your call, though.
Our Favorite Quotes About Seafood
You can put the greatest seafood restaurant next to an average steak house in an urban area, and that steak house will do more business than the seafood place. If you go to the water, you can put an average seafood place next to the greatest steak house, and people are going to eat seafood. – Tilman J. Fertitta
Did we mention that Mulligan’s locations have seaside or waterfront locations? However, that’s as far as the comparison goes, seeing as how we are anything but an “average seafood restaurant.” Come and sit down next to the water and get treated to outstanding seafood, and landfood, should the mood strike.
Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing it’s not the fish they are after. – Henry David Thoreau
Whoa, this post got deep, real quick.
Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. – Albert Einstein
This is an excellent quote with which to end the post. Its applications are many, and its wisdom rings true. Thanks, Albert.
Come See Us Soon!
We hope you’ve enjoyed this obligatory, nay, mandatory pun, joke, and quote blog about fish and seafood. It was a blast to compose, and hopefully you (and maybe your kids) have enjoyed some of these wordplays yourselves. Come see us at Mulligan’s soon! View our menu here.